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Because my labor and pushing time was very short, my vagina did not have enough time to stretch properly and it caused me to tear. I had a second degree tear from my delivery. Had my ob-gyn doctor arrived a little bit earlier I could have had an episiotomy. My doctor put a little bit of anesthesia to numb up the area then started sewing the tear together. While I was getting sewed on, I felt pinches from the needle. I was also still shaking from the delivery which made my doctor's job a little harder. She said it was normal to shake for a few minutes after having a baby. After she finished sewing me up, my doctor left to go home. It took me a few minutes after I was cleaned up by the nurse to stop shaking.

While the nurses were cleaning me up, the other nurses were examining my baby. Most babies have a 9 out of 10 apgar score. A baby would get a 10 only if the weight was at the ideal weight, but not very many baby come out at the exact weight. The nurse also gave me, my husband and our baby a bracelet that had all of our names written on it. They also put an ankle bracelet on her that would set off an alarm, as well as lock the doors if she gets close to an exit door. This is the way hospitals keep babies from being carried away by the wrong people.

After they examined my baby and wrapped her up in a blanket, they gave her to my husband to hold. And to my husband, this was unlike anything he has ever experienced. He didn't know what to expect or feel once she was born and holding her in his arms. And after a few minutes, they gave her to me so that I could breastfeed her. I really didn't have anything coming out at first but her sucking did get my milk started. I was told it would take quite a few minutes for her to suck before anything came out. And once it did, it would only be colostrum. It would be another few days for my real milk to come out. So while I was breast feeding, the nurse came in with some sandwiches and drinks for both my husband and me. I was starving at that point so everything looked good to me. My husband for some reason didn't really want to eat so I ended up eating his food as well. I guess because he went down to the cafeteria for the Christmas dinner a few hours earlier.

The nurse wanted to take my baby to the nursery area where they could bath her, so I said that I would go with. Then she changed her mind and said she could do it in the room that we were in. The nurse had to wait until my baby was at the right temperature before giving her a sponge bath. When she first tried, my baby was still a little bit cold, so she was kept under the warmer and we waited for another to 15 minutes. While we were waiting, we took pictures of her wrapped up in her blanket. I was also able to get up and walk around. I still felt a little weak so I would sit down every few minutes, then stand up again. I was given a new robe to put on since the one I was in had gotten dirty. And since my bottom was swollen, I had to use an ice pack type of sanitary napkin to help relieve swollen. I was also still losing blood which I had to wear a diaper like pad for it.

My husband and I were both left alone with our new baby girl. We really didn't say too much, mainly just looked at her. I was looking at a baby girl whom I just gave birth to, but what does she think of me? Of course it's silly to ask that question since I know I it will be a while before she has any thought about anything. I know that I want to be able to give her everything in the world. I would give her the universe if I could. At the same time, I felt like I still didn't know her. I wanted to pick her up and hug her, but at the same time I wanted to just stand back and look at her. I guess it just hasn't hit me yet or maybe it has and now I'm in shock. And now I have to take care of her, but whose going to help me learn to do that? I have read a few books and some magazines about pregnancy and babies, I guess those will have to work. My husband had been asking me if I have read enough to know what to do. I told him I have read enough, but this isn't a toy or something that comes with a manual that only has one way to do it. Everything I have read are only suggestions and advice of how things are done. They are not instruction manuals and I don't have to do everything that is suggested on print. I figured we would just learn as we go. Every baby, mom, dad, and situations are different so you really can't compare it with how other people are handling things because they are not you and they don't have your baby.

After about 15 minutes, the nurse came back to give my baby a sponge bath. This was the same nurse that had been with me all afternoon and into the night. She basically had a small bowl of water and soap and a wash cloth which she used to wipe my baby down with. It took a few minutes to get her all cleaned up. My daughter also received a couple of shots, one on each leg, for vitamins. The shots made her cry very loud. We opted not to get her vaccinated until we had time to think about it. Once she was all cleaned, we put her into an outfit that we had brought for her, but they were a little big. We also kept her little stocking cap on her to keep her warm.

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